it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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