have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
