Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
