He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
