So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
