Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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