He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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