my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
