i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
