I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
