i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
