i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
