Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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