Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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