See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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