I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
