i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
