wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
