lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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