I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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