I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
