I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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