smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
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