I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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