they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Randomize
