'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Im part way to drunk.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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