how hairy? two words: wookie tits
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
