u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
