What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
