but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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