Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
