redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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