You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
