i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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