dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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