I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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