He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
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