I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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