You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
