Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
