There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
