Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
