Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Randomize
