If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Randomize