Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I need water and some morals
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
