the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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