I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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