32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
