i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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