he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
